im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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