yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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