when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
