my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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