i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm always down for nudity.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize