Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
