she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This is the high leading the old right now
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
