1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she peed on how many people?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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