I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
