the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
