Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
