This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
