thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
