but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
