its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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