i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
