no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm sobbing to NWA
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
