In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
