Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
