Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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