Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
