i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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