its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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