He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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