so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
do herpes really smell.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
