You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
