it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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