so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
