is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Im part way to drunk.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
