i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
