Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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