Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
