I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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