my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
