i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
