And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
