I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize