It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I believe in your delicious
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
