I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
