Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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