If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I will be naked everywhere
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
