I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
