i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
