so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think a kid would responsible me up
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
