i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
