The maid of honor just puked.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
