just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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