..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
