Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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