no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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