you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
