Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
