D3 body, D1 cock
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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