Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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