I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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