My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
