Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
